I haven't posted in quite awhile so I figured now would be the time. I don't know why I haven't blogged in so long. I definitely have a lot to share. This semester has started of with quite a bit of a bang and it's only the end of the second week of school haha. I originally wasn't going to be able to go to school this semester. Unforeseen circumstances depleted my college money that would've paid for my summer classes, and without having my summer classes paid off, I wasn't eligible for Fall registration. I was beginning to lose hope that things would work out and I would have to find a job to work through fall semester at least. At the last minute, God made a way through some very gracious family members. I explained my situation and before I could finish telling them my aunt stopped me and asked me if it was for my school tuition. That was all my uncle and aunt needed to know and they wrote me a check for the full amount! My gratitude to them is immense and I'm planning a very nice surprise for them to say thank you. I really can't say it enough for what they did. To just say "here you go" without question is just such an amazing testament of their character and it was an incredible blessing for me.
I know that I'm supposed to be in school this semester. The things that I'm learning are all too important to my future plans and maturity. I plan on studying abroad next semester and 3 of my classes just happen to be history classes that focus on culture. They are absolutely invaluable. The things that I'm going to be learning about will help to broaden my perspective immensely. Already, I'm starting to think about why people do the things they do differently and I'm realizing just how different the culture I grew up in is from the majority of all the other cultures in the world. I'm starting to understand the rationalization behind practices and beliefs that I disagree with. I still disagree with them, but I'm beginning to understand why now. These classes have opened up a new arena of critical thought for me that will be a great aid in my adventures adjusting to culture overseas.
Through my studies, my opinions are slowly becoming my own. I realize that I've been indoctrinated with certain beliefs since before preschool. I realize that my opinions and biases have been influenced, much more than I realized, by outside forces that I didn't know had such a profound impact on my thought process. I realize now that a much greater proportion of my personal biases were based in blind faith, comfort, or ignorance. Ignorance being the most important out of the series. My college education has definitively been a journey that validates Einstein's quip, "Education is the progressive realization of our ignorance." More and more I am being hit with the harsh reality of just how much knowledge I lack, how little exposure to world culture I've had, how immature I really am. It's such a big pill to swallow. I hope and pray to God that I never forget the lessons I'm learning. I have so much to learn and such little time in which to do it. A lifetime just isn't enough. Though willing, I am still lost. Though eager, I am still so unsure of myself.
How does one go about achieving self-actualization, becoming the best version of oneself that there can be? How do I find a way to seek out all that which would tarnish my soul and then go about attempting to root out those weaknesses? I feel so unprepared to go out into the world and appreciate what it has to offer me. This is by no fault of my teachers and influences, but mine. My parasitic friendship with American apathy is coming to a close, but so much later than I feel it should be. I feel so slight and insignificant sometimes, with greater frequency as of late. I wonder if my heightened state of awareness will warrant any good... I feel like I'm taking one more class on top of the 19 credit hours I'm already committed to. I wake up every morning and after saying a quick "Good Morning" to God, I feel as if his reply is "Good morning Joshua, welcome to Reality Check 101. Brace yourself quickly, we have a lot to cover today."
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